


Staunch to the End

by alexcat



Series: For the Fallen [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Comfort, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Thor and Steve comfort one another after another loss.





	Staunch to the End

**Author's Note:**

> They went with songs to the battle, they were young,  
> Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.  
> They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;  
> They fell with their faces to the foe.  
> ~~ Laurence Binyon

They each went on their journey through time to retrieve one of the Infinity Stones. 

“See ya in a minute,” she’d said as they closed their visors. Those were her last words to him. 

Now it was like a hole had been cut from his middle, from his heart. She befriended him because she felt sorry for him and he was an assignment. No matter how much she protested, he believed this to be true. They became real friends, friends who had each other’s back, who stood together. 

After the thing in Siberia and she’d gone on the run with him, Steve and Natasha had become more. They never were like those lovers who couldn’t be out of one another’s sight, but they loved anyway. Their love was built on the deep friendship they’d developed and now, now what the hell was he to do? 

She didn’t come back. She fucking _sacrificed_ herself!

For Clint. For him. For them all. 

Thor had tried desperately to convince them and himself that they could get her back. 

He sat in his small apartment and held one of her hair clips that she’d left on his bedside table the other night. She’d taken it out of her hair and let her hair down just before turning back to him and kissing the end of his nose. 

Someone tapped on the door. He didn’t say anything, didn’t move. He didn’t want to speak to anyone or talk to anyone right now. He felt like simply existing was almost too taxing. Maybe they’d go away.

The door opened slowly. Thor stuck his head in. 

“I’m so sorry about Romanov. I – I didn’t know you were so close.”

“Come on in. Have a seat.” He’d been so angry and so – so what? His chest hurt and it was hard to understand why the sun had come up. How could the world go on with Natasha gone? Had he ever told her he loved her? That she was his best friend? 

“I, uh, I wish I had some words to make it better. I don’t. I saw my mother when we went to the get the ether. We were there the day she dies… and she knew, she _knew_! She wouldn’t let me speak of it. She told me to follow my own star and be who I am.”

“Your mother sounds wise.” 

“She is – was. I miss her.” 

“Natasha was always here, never giving up on any of us, never giving up on getting us all back. What do I do without her?”

“You have to follow that star, Rogers. When this is done, you have to do what’s best for you, for once. My mother would tell you that. I think Romanov would tell you that as well.” 

Steve looked at Thor. He was still rather shaggy and still too fond of his ratty flannel pants, but his eyes weren’t dull anymore. They were clear and blue, even though Steve knew he was frightened for the first time in his life. Steve had always known bravery was not living without fear; it was going ahead and doing what scared you because it needed doing, because it was the right thing to do. 

“Maybe I will. Stark told me more than once that I needed a life.” 

Thor moved close and put an arm around Steve’s shoulder. “I wish I could take your pain away. Even a god cannot do that, I fear.” 

Steve turned to look at him. “You are a gentle soul, my friend. A fierce warrior with a heart of gold.”

“I’m afraid the last five years I’ve mostly been a useless drunk.”

Thor pulled him a little closer. “Do you think they might have ice cream in the kitchen?” 

The reference to Wakanda and old Avenger’s Tower made him smile. It had been watching Thor eat ice cream that had made them end up lovers so long ago. 

“We can go look.” 

*

None of them were the same after Natasha died. She had been their sister, their mother, their friend. She had become a beacon to them all after the Snap. 

Steve found himself sitting in her apartment quite often, talking to her.

“We are duller without you, N’tasha. I don’t know where you came from exactly and who you were, but you were the brightest star in the sky.” 

He could almost hear her telling him not to be so melodramatic. 

They had all mourned her – Clint had been her oldest and dearest friend, Bruce had loved her after his own fashion and so had he. Tony had been fond of her and Thor respected her as a warrior and as a leader. Rhodey and the Wakandans had come to know her as well. 

Thor had spent nearly every night with him since Natasha had died. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they made love, and sometimes they simply clung to each other like lost children.

“This war, these wars, since my brother invaded Earth with Chitauri, have cost us all so much. Where will it end, Steve? Will any of us survive?” Thor asked one night late as they lay quietly in Steve’s bed. 

“I don’t know. I’m not even sure it matters anymore. I get so tired of fighting and never defeating evil – not a new evil but the same evil over and over,” Steve said and started to turn over to go to sleep. 

Thor touched his shoulder, turning him back so he could see Steve’s face. 

“Don’t give up now. We are close. We owe it to the others, the ones who are dust.”

Steve moved closer to him and kissed Thor’s face above his beard. “I forget sometimes that you’re older and wiser than I am.”

Thor chuckled, a deep rumble in his chest. “I don’t think there is much wisdom in me, but you have that, my friend, even if you are a youngster still.” 

He kissed Steve, on the lips and pulled him closer still. He spoke again. “I remember you saying we’d do whatever it takes, and we will. We’ll do whatever we must until we have our people home.” 

Later, as Thor slept, Steve promised Natasha that he wouldn’t give up.


End file.
